Welcome to a new episode of the Road to Self podcast, Feeling Good and the Multiplication Effect.
I am Laura Vlaicu, Life and Career Change Strategist, and knowledge in all its forms, self-discovery and personal evolution are my main vectors in this life.
I find energy, inspiration and motivation in working with people who fascinate me endlessly with their boundless universe and their amazing potential to create and change the world.
Remember the movie Pay it forward and the multiplier effect?
Briefly, for those who haven't seen it yet (and I recommend you to watch it) and as a reminder to those who already have, the film stars a kid, Trevor, who, at the beginning of 7th grade, gets a homework assignment from his Social Studies teacher. It's about putting together a plan that will change the world for the better. Trevor calls it "Pay it Forward". The person who gets help has to give help to three other people. The condition is that the help received must be one that the recipient cannot do alone. Trevor implements the plan himself. And though he has moments when he doubts the success of his actions, having no guarantee that those he helps will in turn do the same deeds, he continues his endeavor, and the effects ... I encourage you to discover them in the film and in everyday life.
So why to do good and why does it feel good when we help others?
A young monk asked a wise hermit:
- What is the secret of harmony with all people? The old hermit looked at him for a long time, thought for a while in silence and answered:
- To give something to everyone you meet...
- Should I give alms? the young man dared.
- To give a smile, a kind word, a loaf of bread, love, compassion, understanding...that is to say, a piece of your heart!" said the old man, smiling.
The concept of "by giving you shall receive" is not just a Christian exhortation or an element of altruism that only comes more naturally to some or that necessarily involves a conscious, pragmatic effort and an associated material cost. It is also a positive consequence that has scientific validation.
Our bodies secrete certain neurotransmitters called 'chemical messengers'. These are molecules by which the nervous system transmits its messages either between neurons or between neurons and muscles.
Millions of neurotransmitter molecules are working around the clock so that we can function. They keep our breathing, pulse rate, digestion and sleep running smoothly while supporting learning and concentration processes.
However, in addition to the physical effects they have on the body, they also play an absolutely essential role on psychological level. This chemical exchange of information influences a variety of psychological functions, such as mood, pleasure, joy or feelings of fear.
Surely you have heard of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. I chose to mention these to correlate the effects that occur in the body when we choose to give and/or help.
First of all, let's remember the role of each.
Serotonin, also known as the happiness hormone, contributes to maintaining a positive general mood. Few people know, for example, that women have more receptors for serotonin. This has been translated by psychologists over the years as an explanation for the fact that women are more open to share their feelings and enthusiasm. The good news is that all of us, women or men, can use the following methods to further stimulate serotonin synthesis : adopting a proper diet, exercising and taking up hobbies, sunbathing, spending time with loved ones, body massage. It also manifests itself when we feel valued and important, when we carry out useful and motivating activities.
Oxytocin, the substance of love and attachment, is secreted with every sincere embrace, every handshake, every gesture of closeness, when people form friendships, social alliances, when they fall in love. It is the feeling of good that you experience when you trust and rely on another person.
Endorphins, the natural painkillers produced by our bodies, fight pain and are secreted during physical exertion. Endo - means endogenous - produced from within, and morpheus - morphine.
Pain is useful for the body because it stops a destructive action on the body. When you hammer nails and accidentally bump your fingers, if it weren't for the pain making you pay attention, you'd soon be unable to write.
But other times the pain threatens our survival : for example a zebra, when it is running through the savannah, if it is scratched or bitten, the pain would stop it from running, but that would mean it would fall prey, so in those moments endorphins are secreted to help it by stopping it feel the pain and thus to continue running despite the injuries.
You've probably experienced that state of euphoria when you've pushed yourself beyond your limits, for example in a sports training session.
Dopamine is secreted in the state of presence and has the effect of motivating us. For example, it is released whenever you expect a reward. It gives you that feeling of excitement, joy and anticipation when you discover something new and useful. Imagine a primitive man wandering through the woods, paying attention to all the signs around him and looking for food. Whenever he encountered something promising, his brain released dopamine, signalling that it was time to channel his energy into reaching that reward. Dopamine is therefore a substance that increases alertness and vigilance, keeps us on our toes, makes us seek and want more.
On the other hand, nowadays we can enjoy delicious foods, drinks, music and various entertainments. We get used to increased dopamine levels and the body becomes resistant and no longer responds as well. This is also the mechanism by which addictions occur : we no longer feel the same satisfaction and it takes more and more to get the same effect. But we can diversify our sources of happiness and fulfilment if we spend more time with ourselves to get to know ourselves better and to address the needs we actually want to fulfil through our actions.
When you choose to help someone around you, you will feel confident and proud of yourself that you can do something here and now that matters, you will get a real connection, and all the above-mentioned elements (endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin) will instantly and naturally flood your body, giving you the most intense and authentic feeling of well-being.
Let's review together what actions are within our reach to increase the levels of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin in our bodies:
- Follow a diet as healthy and as varied as possible that includes nuts and seeds that are rich in tryptophan, an essential amino acid needed for serotonin production, and fibre-rich vegetables that feed the beneficial bacteria involved in serotonin production.
- Maximise time spent outdoors in natural light. Serotonin is a daytime hormone from which, when darkness falls, melatonin is produced, the hormone that helps us have a deep and restful sleep.
- Participate in interesting activities and projects, in creative processes, in making something new and useful, experiencing a sense of personal satisfaction with one's own achievements.
- Become involved in volunteering activities - the gratitude we receive from those we help will increase our serotonin levels.
- Become aware of the positive aspects of our personal situation and existence, practicing gratitude for the good things in our personal life - helps produce serotonin.
- Spend time with loved ones, family, friends.
- Touching and hugging causes oxytocin secretion and improves relationships with loved ones.
- Care for a pet increases oxytocin levels.
- Go to a massage and aromatherapy session - the therapist's touch stimulates oxytocin secretion and the scent of essential oils triggers endorphin secretion.
- Physical activity, playing a sport, and occasionally trying to push our limits! Every time a difficult threshold is crossed, the secretion of endorphins will be at its highest and produce a state of euphoria.
In conclusion, I would like to remind you that it is proven that we cannot experience two opposite emotional states simultaneously. We cannot be angry and happy at the same time. No matter what situation we are experiencing, its labeling only depends by our perspective on it. The situation is a fact. It is how we relate to it and the associated thoughts that can make us sad, angry, angry, irritated, or experience regret, doubt and any negative emotion. As I mentioned in a previous podcast, it is in our power to slow down, take a moment of reflection and say stop. I am the one choosing how I feel. I take a deep breath and I focus on myself here and now. It is in my power to be calm and relaxed. I have all the resources I need to resolve any situation in my life quickly and easily. I have full confidence in my inner strength. I remain calm and at peace no matter what is happening around me. Or any other statement. Things will not change instantly. But the chemistry in your body will slowly, slowly change. Saying these affirmations to yourself will stop the secretion of neurotransmitters that are hurting you and stimulate the appearance of those that are doing you good. It's like stopping eating fast food or drinking cola and choosing to eat a salad and drink water. And it's just as easy to do it. It's a choice and that's all to it.
What would it be like if each of us did this self work and had the openness to help? Imagine the effect of multiplication and what the world with all it represents would look like? What a paradise!